Hi all,
I thought I’d give a quick update on what’s been going on with regards to my mental health.
So far I’ve been doing well. My medication was reduced last week and I’ve been on iron tablets for my iron deficiency.
Ever since my medication decreased, I’ve been having nightmares nearly everyday. I don’t know whether it is related to the medication decrease or related to something else.
The nightmares have been quite alarming. They tend to have people that I’m familiar with in the dreams and the people are either trying to kill me. Or in one instance, the person was controlling me as if I was a robot. You maybe reading this and thinking that surely I don’t believe that the dreams are real so it shouldn’t be a problem, but when you suffer from psychosis, it easier to believe in things that aren’t real since one of the symptoms is to experience delusions.
I thank God because I am able to distinguish between the dreams and reality when I wake up in the morning but sometimes I’m not able to distinguish between the true and false in the middle of the night.
Other than that, I hadn’t been hearing voices until today. I woke up at 8:30 am then I decided to go back to sleep because I slept late. When I went back to sleep, I started hearing a voice that was impersonating my dad, and it was doing a good job. The voice was having a conversation with me and basically knocking down my confidence.
It was saying things along the lines of me not being able to do things the way I used to because of my disorder. And I was arguing back in my head saying that I am fine. Then the voice would reply with examples of things that prove that I’m not the same as I was before.
I may not know exactly who this voice is but I know that its words come straight from the devil. You may think I’m sounding superstitious but I know I’m not.
This voice never has anything nice to say and it is always tearing me down rather than building me up. It tries to make me depressed and anxious about anything but I won’t give in. I know that the word of God says “do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7.
That text means so much to me because it gives me hope that if I submit to God and rely on him, He will give me an unexplainable peace. There is no guarantee in that text that the trials and hardships won’t come your way. In fact Peter says “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” – 1 Peter 4:12.
So the hardships will come your way but your state of mind will be different once you have submitted to God. So I don’t know whether these voices will go but I can boast in knowing that Christ is on my side and He will give me the peace that surpasses all understanding to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
If there are any of you going through something similar or know someone going through something similar, I want to encourage you to keep on going and never give up because God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, He helps us handle what we are given.
Thanks for reading and please feel free to comment and share your experiences.
HeRestoresMe 